


Valentines and Practical Jokes

by DixieDale



Category: Clan O'Donnell - Fandom, Garrison's Gorillas
Genre: Valentine's Day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-19
Updated: 2020-01-19
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:07:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22323820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DixieDale/pseuds/DixieDale
Summary: Neither Lieutenant Craig Garrison nor Sergeant Major Gil Rawlins are looking forward to February.  Is there ANYTHING that can turn that around?   Maybe, by doing just that, turning things around.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 4





	Valentines and Practical Jokes

Looking at that handwritten list he'd made when Actor had first told him about that Theme of the Month, Garrison groaned. "February's Theme of the Month. Damn, I'm not looking forward to this one, Gil. 'Practical Jokes'. I wonder if there's any way to convince them to just skip this one? Maybe just focus on Valentine's Day?" 

Sergeant Major Gil Rawlins nodded in firm agreement with the sentiment, but doubt showed strong in his face. 

"That would be nice, Lieutenant, but I don't see that 'appening, do you?"

Unfortunately, there really wasn't any way TO convince them, not outside a direct order, and neither the officer or the non-com had any confidence that even THAT would work. Instead of gleefully-admitted 'practical jokes', they'd just end up with a lot of 'oops! Sorry!' comments as things started going off their hinges.

Naw, they didn't figure on skipping it. Besides, the guys figured (or so they claimed) that Garrison would enjoy it, once he got better used to the idea; he WAS starting to loosen up quite a bit. The Sergeant Major? Maybe not so much, but they were still working on him. And pranking each other with practical jokes was always a blast! 

In fact, it was almost a matter of honor, Casino claimed, though Chief thought that was a real stretch. Still, he had to admit, what was it, the third month things hadn't gone as planned with the Theme of the Month? Yeah, they'd had to change the theme for last August AND this past January, and December had taken their theme and tossed it in the air like a dog with a bone. 

Then there was last April, which had taken an uneasy turn, though that had really been the delayed April Fools' Day that had caused that trauma. The sight of Goniff, laying motionless on the entry floor, pistol in his hand, red clotting in his ashen blond hair - none were likely to forget THAT! There wasn't a man on the team, including Garrison and Gil Rawlins, who hadn't firmly informed the pickpocket that if he pulled a stunt like that again, next time the blood would be real!

But now they figured they really needed to get re-focused, and what better to get focused on than 'Practical Jokes'. Plus, there was Valentine's Day just around the corner, something ELSE to put their minds to, although they each had very different views on that as well.

*  
Actually, unbeknownst to them, it was the Sergeant Major who'd decided that this year, HE'D be the one (well, ONE of the ones, anyway) doing the pranking, and he thought he had a brilliant idea. 

Of course, even his terming it that, 'a brilliant idea', made him wonder uneasily about Goniff's apparently ever-widening influence on those around him. Gil Rawlins wasn't used to thinking of any of his own ideas as 'brilliant', though he'd heard Goniff claim that description for some of HIS ideas. 

(The pickpocket was firmly of the opinion that those who laughed at that description were just jealous.)

The thought that the little Cockney might be contagious in some manner did cross Rawlins' mind, before he firmly shrugged off the idea as nonsense. Still, he knew if he started getting the urge to 'snaffle' the odd item now and again, or go climbing across the rooftop, he was going to have to consider the notion more seriously.

And whether he could get away with playing a practical joke on them in the first place, that was questionable, considering they were experts at the task; surely they'd be able to spot any such effort on his part. Well, at least Casino and Goniff were experts, though even Chief and Actor got involved anymore, and could rig some interesting surprises at times.

Still, with Valentine's Day tucked up there in the middle of the month, the men would be focusing on that, perhaps, and not on the possibility of being pranked, especially ON that day. 

In that effort, the Sergeant Major had done some shopping last trip to London, to one of those places that had all the different cards, including lots for Valentine's Day. Seems there were all kinds out there, some sweet, some romantic, some just silly, some pretty but with lots of space to write your own words, and a few? Oh, boy!!!! He blushed to even think of what some of them said!!!

He'd looked at the prices and winced, regretfully deciding it would take just too much from what was left of his slender pay packet to carry off what he'd been intending. But then, when he'd picked up Garrison at HQ, Garrison had slipped him some extra spending money for the project. 

Garrison had listened with amused sympathy when the non-com ruefully explained over some bad Commissary coffee that "I thought I might 'ave a little prank to play on the guys, but turned out to be more expensive that I thought. Don't 'ave the ready, not after promising to send some over to Miss Rebecka at the orphanage. Seems Frankie Morris needs glasses, and they just don't 'ave enough to 'andle that right now. Feel right sorry for the tyke, though, blundering around like that; gonna come a cropper unless something's done. I know keeping food on the table for the whole lot of them 'as to come first, before glasses for just one, no question. But glasses also needs to come before pranks, to my mind."

Well, Garrison had not only given Gil enough for the prank he had in mind, but also made a note to pay closer attention to the orphanage and their needs, perhaps send over some of his reserve as well. Times were lean everywhere, but he hated the thought of them having to choose between proper medical attention for the youngsters and having enough for them to eat. He made a note to let Meghada know there were real shortfalls over there; in fact, if she hadn't been out and gone so much, she'd probably already been on top of the situation.

Later, looking over the results of his shopping, Rawlins was cautiously optimistic, but still remembered that Halloween when he'd tried to prank the team, even Garrison himself, with the lizards and bats and such. That had gone wildly awry, which, he had to admit, happened more often than not when the guys were involved. He wasn't quite sure why, but it just seemed to happen. Still, he prepared, taking his time, chuckling to himself in the privacy of his snug room. If even one or two of these came off, he'd be more than pleased.

But while 'Practical Jokes' was the February 'Theme of the Month', no one seemed to be quite in the mood. 

Practical jokes needed an audience, and for most of the month it was going to be just Casino, Chief and Goniff at the Mansion, that is, unless HQ decided to send them out with one of the other teams. Well, Sergeant Major Rawlins would be there, but he never got involved in their games, except as an unwilling victim, and even there, once again, you needed an appreciative audience. 

Actor and Garrison had been gone since the beginning of the month, off on a job, just the two of them, and face it, Actor was the one the guys most enjoyed pranking, watching that studied dignity take a nose-dive. Of course, watching the Warden turn red and start shouting had its amusement value as well. 

Still, for just the three of them (plus whatever they came up with for the Sergeant Major), they wondered if it was really worth the effort. Nothing seemed to be particularly inspiring.

Then, a couple of days after Garrison and Actor had left, Chief had gotten ill, had been laid up down at Doc Riley's, camped in Doc and Sheila's one 'guest' room for over a week, battling a nasty bug, and wasn't up for anything too active even when he was picked up and delivered to his home base on the 12th. Well, Casino and Goniff hadn't gotten back from their little impromptu jaunt with Micah Davis and his team til the 10th, anyway. Just another little 'walk in the park' that turned into a walk through a minefield. Still they made it back, with a couple of interesting stories to tell. 

As Goniff told the recovering Chief, "Davis, 'e's not as good at the planning as the Lieutenant, but 'e does get the job done right enough. Likes to blow things up as much as the Lieutenant does, that's for certain. And once you get around the funny way 'e 'as of talking, 'e's a right interesting bloke, you know?"

That declaration was met with snickers from his two team mates, resulting in a look of total innocent bewilderment on Goniff's face that was priceless. Fake, of course, but still priceless.

Sergeant Major had been highly apprehensive of the month, but while not happy Chief had been ill, nor that Actor and Garrison were off by themselves doing some derring-do without the backup of the others, he had to admit his nerves were in better shape than he'd expected them to be by the time Valentine's Day rolled around. 

{"Odd, really, that it's MY pranks that will be 'itting the boards first,"} he thought. It was going to be interesting to see if his little plan was successful. He was hoping for a red face or two, maybe some yelling, at least, but it felt oddly forlorn to be the ONLY entry in the pile. When he realized he had been sort of looking forward to seeing what pranks they might play, he shuddered in reaction and went to pull out that small bottle from the bottom of Garrison's desk drawer. 

***Valentine's Day  
Valentine's Day, a day when thoughts naturally turn to romance, or so you would think, though not everyone put the same spin on the word. 

And the definitions did differ, quite a bit, as clarified by the discussion right at the beginning of the month, and even the previous year.

Actor had proclaimed last year that Valentine's Day should be elegant and refined and romantic, with the finest available being offered to the lady of your choice in the finest setting you could manage.

Goniff had argued for something much simpler, quieter. He was firmly of the opinion that three nice meals with someone you fancy more than a little, a quiet walk in the woods together, a little gift in token, and a shared nap or two was just as romantic, even more so, than "going all fish eggs on little bits of toast with champagne for some passing skirt, even if she is dressed all in silks and satin".

Casino told some stories about his past Valentine's Day experiences, but staunchly claimed what came to his mind first when anyone mentioned Valentine's Day, well, that was what went down in the Lincoln Garage in Chicago back in '29, something called 'the St. Valentine's Day Massacre'. 

That didn't really seem all that romantic, not to Goniff anyway, and Actor just looked appalled.

Chief gave one of his rare laughs, seeming to find the whole conversation more amusing than most. {"Sometimes, Pappy, sometimes!"} Somehow, though Goniff tickled the heck out of him sometimes, usually, for a real laugh? That took Casino and his sometimes weird take on things.

Last year, Chief and Garrison had both claimed to agree with Casino's stated opinion that you were better off not spending that particular night with 'some dame, cause they get ideas!' Well, unless there was someone really special, someone you maybe didn't MIND getting ideas. But Casino just looked spooked even at that idea.

"And if they're not that special, it wouldn't make the evening all that romantic anyway, so I always thought I was better off skipping it," Garrison had claimed, getting an odd look from Actor. 

How the con man managed to keep from rolling his eyes, he never knew. Why, there had been times when that worthy had scheduled more than one 'romantic' encounter for that particular night. One memorable year, he'd scheduled two for that night, and one the night after and one the night before, using the excuse that 'regrettably, I will be out of town on the 14th, but I could not bear not to share Valentine's Day with you, even if not on precisely the day expected."

Last year, though, while Actor had invited several ladies to join him, it was only in rueful acknowledgement that the one lady he truly DID want to join him probably wouldn't even consider the idea, would totally ignore his invitation. As the clock ticked away, as the food grew cold, as he conversed with the various women from his past who, each in turn, occupied that seat across from him, he was convinced of it.

Luckily for him, Lynn Garrison HAD arrived before the evening was over; even more luckily, those ladies he had invited to join him were only in his memory, his imagination, none there in the flesh. That would have been more than a little awkward, otherwise. Lynn had more of a temper than you might have imagined.

But romance - whatever definition you wanted to give that word - didn't seem to be in the cards for February 14th, not for the guys from the Mansion. 

This year, the con man had to admit to himself he was just as well off being tapped for this assignment with Garrison. There was no chance Garrison's sister would have accepted an invitation from him for a Valentine's Day dinner, not now. The fact was, she was quite annoyed with him at the moment, and probably would have slammed down the telephone if he'd even attempted to broach the subject.

Casino was still going on about the dangers of the day, about raising expectations.

"It's really dumb to spend all that day, hell, even just part of the night, with some dame; they start getting ideas about it meaning more than just some laughs and a good roll in the hay! Might be able to get away with sending a card, maybe hand off some candy, if you think you really got to, but not much more than that, not less you're looking to get a ring through yer nose. And you gotta be damned careful about the cards you send too!"

He snorted, remembering some of the trouble he'd gotten into for not understanding that earlier.

"Oh, I started out thinkin it was one swell opportunity for gettin laid, ya know, the dames getting all romantic and all. Figured out soon enough, they're too damned romantic. Or some of them, just too damned something!

"Carla Brunowski - took her to a dance on Valentine's Day, she was all flirty and giggling. I pull up to a burger joint afterwards, and I noticed she was a little quieter than before, but that was okay. I was kinda getting tired of all the giggling anyhow. Then I suggest maybe we move to the back seat. Dumps her milk shake in my lap, tells me a thing or two, gets out and hitches a ride with one of her friends over in the next car. Seems she didn't think a burger and fries and a milk shake was 'romantic' enough, and the back seat of a car wasn't what she had in mind either, at least not in the back parking lot of Burger Heaven. Sheesh, dames!

"Then there was Roxie Maguire. This time I skipped the dancing, took her to a nice place for dinner, where you even went inside and sat at the tables, ya know? Even had oilcloth covers on them! I take a good look at the prices, and start figuring how what I got in my wallet is gonna cover the tab. I suggest maybe the meatloaf plate, and she gives me the fish eye, but goes along. Then, I'm just finishing my mashed potatoes, thinking I have enough to maybe spring for a piece of pie to split between the two of us, and SHE starts rattling on about me needing to get a better paying job, maybe in her old man's factory. Even brings up what's the best neighborhood for a young couple just starting out. When she starts spouting off about how it was best to start having kids right off the bat, and that while she knew I'd want a boy first, she thought the second one should probably be a girl!!! Can tell you right off, I skipped the dessert and got her back home before her folks even turned the porch light on. Didn't even MENTION the back seat!

"But the real capper? Mary Josephina Langostino! Valentine's Day, one of those four-piece sampler boxes of candy, and a nice drive up to Lookout Point. Figured if oilcloth tables and meatloaf could make Roxie start hearing wedding bells, and burgers and fries just pissed Carla to hell and back, I'd just skip the whole 'feeding her first' idea. Made it to the backseat, sure enough, no problem. Hell, she about dragged me there! But then next day, there's her old man pounding on the door saying I knocked her up and I'm damned well gonna marry her. Brought a shotgun, just to get his point across. Even dragged the parish priest along with him! Yeah, she'd gotten knocked up, all right, some rich kid across town, but wasn't like HE was gonna marry her. So, she gets this bright idea, starts looking around for some poor sap, and she settles on me. Took my old man and my mom to settle that one, and luckily her old man knew MY old man wasn't gonna stand for any nonsense. But I can tell you, boy did I hear about it later!"

Well, they were beginning to see Casino's point; he didn't have a great track record with the day.

Chief didn't have any stories to tell. But he WAS thinking he'd be well content to spend the day as he had the year before, usual activities during the day, then having a game of cards and a quiet dinner and a couple of drinks with Casino down at the pub. He'd been a little hesitant to suggest a repeat for this year, at least at first, but after Casino told the third story about how dumb it was to get a dame involved, he did. Well, that story about Mary Josephina Langostino and her father's shotgun really had been enough to turn a guy off.

Although Casino was very offhand with his acceptance of Chief's idea of having dinner together - "well, might as well; we both gotta eat," still they both relaxed just a little. No, it might not be a 'romantic' way to spend Valentine's Day evening - Chief would have looked extremely uncomfortable at the word even being said out loud, even in teasing. Casino would probably have come out swinging, but they admitted, at least to themselves, they were both looking forward to the night. Well, last year had gone just fine, hadn't it? No broads had been needed to let them have a decent enough night.

Goniff was ready to slap them both upside their heads, of course, thinking they really needed to get with the program and stop avoiding what should have ruddy well been obvious to the pair of them! Well, at least they'd be together, get to talk some. {"There's some saying about that, something with 'orses in it, 'orses and water. A'course, the 'orses I've come across, they're not nearly as stubborn and downright dumb as THESE two!"}

HE wasn't gonna be in their way, was planning to spend the night at the Cottage, even if it was alone. It maybe wouldn't seem so lonesome down there, like it would be here. And he figured he'd BE alone, because Meghada was off somewhere in South America on some odd assignment for Major Richards, {"something to do with rats, or rat-lines, and green jackets, or whatever!) and probably not even going to get back by the 14th. In fact, what with Craig ALSO being out and gone, the pickpocket was in a glum mood, and wasn't any red and lacy envelopes gonna pull him out. Or so he thought. 

Garrison was in Belgium with Actor, certainly nothing to do with hearts and flowers, more blood and pain and betrayal, and hardly remembered what day it was until the job was all over, and then he was glad he'd made those preparations before he'd left. Actor, of course, had been the prompt for that, as the tall Italian had made no secret of HIS arrangements as they were discussing the upcoming mission. 

"We will not be back by the 14th, that is obvious, Craig. But I SHOULD hate to think of - well, certain ladies - having their feelings wounded. I have arranged for the proper gifts to be delivered with the appropriate sentiments." If there had been only one lady, only one gift, he didn't share that with Garrison; it would be just too much out of character.

Garrison didn't disagree, of course. It was just that balancing the personal against the professional, the intimate against the military objective - it was all getting more and more difficult. It wasn't that he didn't finally accept what, who he wanted, needed - it was just trying to coordinate that with all the rest that was so demanding. Still, he was glad Actor had jostled his memory; he would have hated to have let that opportunity slip by him.

The cards arrived at the Mansion on the 14th, and created quite a stir. Chief and Casino had each gotten one; Goniff got three. There was one for Actor, too, to be left on his cot for his return.

Chief had been the first one to open his card. The stunned expression on his face, the total lack of words was enough to set Casino off. Well, really, it had taken Goniff plucking the card from Chief's nerveless fingers and reading it aloud, front and insert, to do that. Though, that HAD gotten the job done. 

"Shit! Let me take a look at that one, Indian!! Who's this Carol broad?? You been hiding things from us? That's one smoking hot dame that wrote THAT one! I'M not even THAT blunt, not usually anyhow!"

Despite protests from Chief that he didn't know any 'smoking hot dames' who'd be sending him a card like the one he'd just opened, not by the name of Carol or any other name either, he was the target of some considerable questioning from Goniff and Casino. Goniff was just amused and curious; Casino didn't seem all that amused, at least under the surface, though he sure as hell was curious. 

{"Just don't seem right, somehow; the kid just ain't up to that kinda heavy action. Gonna have to keep a close eye out; don't need some barracuda tearing him apart. Might have to step in, just for his own good."}

Casino had frowned and flushed heavily over the one he'd gotten. 

"See, it's just like I told you guys! Talk about over the top! Some dames, they just get way too hot and bothered over this Valentine's Day shit!" 

He tossed it onto the table in disgust. 

"Hell, I don't even remember any Belinda, at least, not over here. There was that Belle, and a couple'a Lindas; well, maybe there was a Belinda in there somewhere. But if I can't remember their name, much less their face, what gives them the right to send me something like THIS??!"

The looks Goniff and Chief were giving him! They knew Casino didn't always bother to even get the names, being inclined to call the various females 'Babe', or 'Lovely Lady', or 'Hey, Toots', as often as not. To him, it seemed a name was just a name, a handle, right? Something to get her attention, to let her he was talkin' to her, and if 'Babe' or something else worked, he didn't see what the big deal was. And, it kept him from saying the wrong name at the wrong time, which could really screw up a woman's mood. Women could just get so damned pissy sometimes, and over the least little thing!

Goniff grabbed the card Casino had tossed aside, his eyebrows leaping for his hairline at the front of the card, then his laugh breaking out as he read the inside. 

"Gotta say looks like 'e's right, Chiefy. Over the top don't even cover it! This one, it's got pink 'earts, doves and ribbons and lace and little pretend-pearls and a whole bunch of other stuff all over it. Coo! Must've cost a bundle! And the words!! Listen to this."

Goniff's voice changed, becoming higher and much more mockingly-feminine, almost sickeningly sweet as he read the words on the card.

"On the outside, there's this - 'Valentine's Day is the time for sweet promises and even sweeter beddings.' Then, on the inside, "Just as June is the time for devoted beginnings, and flower-filled weddings." Don't know who THAT one's from, Casino, who that 'Belinda' is, but I think you need to watch your step! Least, need to start getting their names down straight! Maybe start writing it all down, like the Lieutenant does in that little mileage book of 'is. Could pick up a stack of them next time we're in London so you don't run out."

Again, Goniff was the only one amused. Casino sure as hell wasn't, and Chief? Not so much either, not from the flash in those dark eyes.

Goniff had just laughed over the one he'd received from what seemed to be one of the bolder of the society ladies, those friends of Julie Richards who'd been so enthralled with Meghada's sly hints, although there was only initials and a phone number instead of a signature.

"Does seem Valentine's Day makes them more than a little pushy," he'd said with a wry look, as Chief and Casino snickered at the sly if obvious invitation being extended. "Not like I ain't told the lot of them I ain't interested." 

When Casino offered to 'take up the slack', Chief had scowled, but Goniff had tossed it over with a casual, "go a'head and 'ave at it, mate, if you're of a mind to. I sure ain't going to be making that call! The way your luck runs, though, it'll be that Cornelia or maybe Trudy. You remember those two, right? Those shrill voices, skinny as a rail, the both of them, and bet Cornelia 'as a good ten years on Actor, even. Trudy was wearing a wig, could tell that right off; likely bald as a bat. Like they were joined at the 'ip, those two, always together. Might even be the BOTH of them waiting on the other end of that telephone number."

The appalled look on Casino's face said that, yeah, he remembered them, and he dropped that card back on the table like it was red hot. Only Chief saw the wink Goniff had sent in his direction.

And Gil Rawlins listened to the roaring, the laughter, the outraged protests, and he smiled. 

{"Yes, all in all, it went pretty well. Will 'ave to remember to tell Lieutenant Garrison all about it. I'm glad I remembered to write down what I made all them cards say, at least the ones I did. Those last two that came for Goniff, well, that's a different story; private like, those were, at least seems like it to me. Well, I'm glad I DID think to do cards, even if I meant them for a practical joke; otherwise no one but Goniff would 'ave gotten even a one! Well, except for that one for the Lieutenant that was delivered right along with the ones for Goniff. How they got to Alice Miller in the first place, I'll never know. Some mixup with the post, most likely."}

The last two that showed up for Goniff, the pickpocked had held back, hadn't shared, no matter how his team mates teased. And even when Casino went snooping, once Goniff was involved elsewhere, the safecracker never could locate those two, so his curiosity went unsatisfied.

No, those hadn't been left where they could be found; they'd been deposited in the pickpocket's secret stash of treasures, over on the other side of the Mansion. They'd be safe there, and besides, he didn't need them right at his fingertips to remember the words, the thoughts, the cards had delivered. And the fact that neither had been signed? That didn't matter one little bit; HE'D had no trouble figuring out who had sent each one. Well, how could he?

One was obviously hand-made, quite intricate - the front being the picture of a quaint cottage, surrounded by lush gardens. The inside was filled with those tiny Victorian cutouts you could find in some of the shops. In this case, a table fair groaning with offerings to tempt the most demanding of appetites - a room showing the end of a bed made up with a nice quilt and with sheer curtains fluttering in the breeze - a funny depiction of a claw-foot bathtub, complete with back scrubbing brush, soap, bubbles and a fluffy towel, with a braided rug alongside - a bookshelf filled with books, with more tumbled around on the floor even. And scattered in between, tiny musical notes, balancing the whole. No fancy words, but then, none were really needed, not to his mind. Well, other than the ones done in red embroidery thread circling the inside page, oddly enough the very same words, or close to, the ones he'd included on both of the cards HE'D left on the kitchen table down at the Cottage. *'For a lucky few, EACH day is Valentine's Day'*

The other was simpler, but still hand-made. Well, it had to have been; wasn't like that was just come across in a shop somewhere. The palest of blue, the card was, but with slightly deeper blue letters, nothing else other than the emerald green ribbons forming a looping border. Across the front, in those Victorian paste-on letters - 'YOU HOLD MY HEART, AND YOU ALWAYS WILL' and on the inside, 'I SMILE TO KNOW, I HOLD YOURS AS WELL'. No, it might not rhyme, so much, but he was fine with that. It said what he wanted to hear, well enough. Along with the looping green ribbons, that, if you looked at the pattern carefully, held it to the side, what did it say? *'EACH day is Valentine's Day'*

So, in the early evening, Goniff headed toward the Cottage to deliver his own envelopes and gifts, and to let the memories keep him company if nothing else. Chief and Casino had dropped him off on their way to the pub, but knew not to bother picking him up afterwards.

***

Meghada:  
Meghada reached London, back from Argentina of all places (!), on the afternoon of the 14th. She'd been debriefed by Lieutenant Riley, who'd smoothly suggested she go change into something more presentable and he'd take her to dinner afterwards. Riley had attempted to gain her attention at various times, didn't seem to understand 'no means no'. Not then, not now.

"After all, you've just come back from a successful mission; consider it in the way of a celebration, if you like. In any case, you're tired; you surely can't intend to head out tonight. And besides, it IS Valentine's Day. A little wine, maybe a little dancing, perhaps we could get to know each better. Much, much better." 

{"Damn, the blasted man is purring like an overgrown cat, and that ever-so-seductive smile just makes me want to smack him a good one with a newspaper! Can a man be a cat and a hound all at the same time?"}

The man hadn't been happy with her weary but polite declining of his invitation. The 'weary' was because she really was; the 'polite' was her attempt to appease Kevin Richards after his latest lecture about 'subtlety is NOT a character flaw, Meghada! I really do wish you would at least TRY to exert some effort in that regard!' She didn't intend to take it too far, but she thought Kevin deserved at least SOME attempt on her part. She didn't think Lieutenant Riley deserved any more than just the one attempt, though.

The Lieutenant persisted, and she decided subtlety just possibly WAS a character flaw, one she was impatient with trying to acquire today.

In fact, an argument ensued, one which got quite loud. The three in the hallway beyond heard a male voice stating firmly, but with forced, if not overly sincere, patience, "perhaps I didn't make it clear enough, Miss O'Donnell. I am certainly not going to release you to head back to your home base, not tonight; far too much chance for you to have an accident, what with the road conditions. I am offering you the opportunity of having an elegant dinner with me at one of the better hotels, perhaps in a private suite, conducive to a level of discourse not otherwise easily obtainable. Of course, if you PREFER to spend the evening in Secure Quarters, under guard, sleeping on a cot and eating whatever the Commissary might have left on hand . . ."

His voice had dropped to something close to a purr again. "Now that you understand, I'm sure you will be much more -"

Crash! Thud!

The door opened, and the three stared open-mouthed as the snarling young woman stepped out, glancing back over her shoulder at the stunned man laying on the floor, moaning, grasping his privates.

Lieutenant Staples and his two friends stepped back quickly as the Dragon glanced at them and smiled, before turning to head down the corridor. Staples admitted later that that smile had been rather off-putting, almost as much as the sight of Lieutenant Riley groaning on the floor. Well, off-putting, and rather awe-inspiring.

"Excuse me, miss. Where are you headed?" Staples asked hesitantly.

"Either to the Motor Pool to commission transport to head home, which is what I would prefer, or, if you insist, to Secure Quarters to wait out the night. I admit, the latter might be safer for me, if road conditions are as bad as the lieutenant claims, but perhaps not for others, as I fear it would annoy me right now, and make me rather testy come morning."

The three looked at each other. Then with a smile he didn't even bother to hide, Lieutenant Oxton (who had his own bone to pick with Lieutenant Riley, who'd tried his tricks with someone Lieutenant Oxton had a fondness for) pulled the door closed on the groaning American lieutenant curled on the floor of the debriefing room. He suggested, "we'd be happy to escort you to the Motor Pool, if you like. Just in case anyone is so foolish as to try and delay you? We can see you are quite anxious to return home."

Yes, she was. She had already confirmed that, while Craig and Actor were still away, the rest of the team was at the Mansion. That meant that she hopefully still had time, if not to share a romantic Valentine's Day night with her laddie, then perhaps an après-Valentine's Day make-up. Perhaps a nice breakfast, and then on with that lovely schedule they'd followed the previous year. Yes, it was a shame Craig couldn't join them; she knew Goniff would have liked that, but still, she could make it a nice Valentine's Day anyway. And they could possibly plan an après-après-Valentine's Day make-up later for when Craig returned. 

{"After all, EACH day is Valentine's Day, at least for us."}. For a holiday that wasn't one she'd ever been accustomed to, she was finding it a sweet thing, at least where her two lads were concerned. Well, perhaps it wasn't so much the holiday, but her lads, but that wasn't really the point.

She walked into the door of the Cottage to the sight of three cards, three gifts sitting on the table. The one card didn't have a name to say who it was for, but she knew it was meant for Craig. Well, the tiny box of candies in a brightly-colored tin that was sitting under the card had become the gift of choice from Goniff to Craig, sort of an inside joke. 

Craig had laughed once, told them, "the first time Goniff started leaving me tins of those candies, I'd laughed, told myself that if I were a girl, I'd think he was courting me!" 

Goniff had blushed, and admitted, "wasn't, least wasn't thinking about it like that, not then. Just seemed right, somehow; that you deserved something sweet coming your way."

The other two cards were addressed to her, both of them making her smile. Seems they'd had the same idea, since they'd each used something close to the same words she'd made sure to use on hers to them.

The one saying 'Meghada' on the envelope was tucked under the ribbon of a small box holding a set of richly-colored wax pencils. She knew what they were intended for. Due to the scarcity of the manuscript sheets she used in composing, she had started putting all the notes for all the instruments involved in a song, along with the words, on a single sheet, stacking the notes. While it did save greatly on the paper sheets, it was hard on the fingers and on the eyesight, and it could make it far too easy to mistake what was going on at one measure. 

Craig had caught her cursing the air blue one afternoon a couple of weeks ago, trying to figure out what the guitar thought it was doing, ranging off like that, much less the apparent antics of the flute, and suggested colored pencils might help keep her notes, along with her temper, in check. It had seemed a likely idea, but she had been off and gone before she'd had a chance to look for a set.

His card was restrained and unsigned, but sweet, and she smiled as she read it, and the words added to those printed made it far more personal than anyone else might imagine.

Goniff's was addressed to ''Gaida', of course, and the box contained a colorful, multi-jeweled clip in the form of a dragon. She admired the design and workmanship, wondering just where his wandering fingers had managed to find a lovely museum-quality piece like that. That he had been able to give it up, give it to her, that was telling in and of itself, him having a real problem letting go of the sparklies once he collected them. Of course, he had a real problem letting the sparklies go uncollected in the first place, no one could deny that either. And this, it was actually a piece she could wear in a number of ways, since it was made with an extended rear clip that let you slide it over a plain hair comb, or the neckline of a dress, or at the fold of a scarf. She'd never liked marring fabric by piercing it with a pin like what most such items used.

Goniff's card was a very simple one, the kind you could have easily sent to a teacher, or a sister, or someone you were not romantically involved with. She didn't mind that in the least, especially with that printed addition, again, those words that had come to mean so much to them. *'EACH Day Is Valentine's Day'* Well, for the three of them, it really was true.

A quiet voice came from one of the big chairs in the living room. {"Ah, he IS here! I must be even more tired than I thought, if I didn't realize! Usually I KNOW if he's near!"}

"Did you like it then? Thought of you right off when I saw it in that big 'ouse we 'ad to snatch those papers from. Thought it might make a nice Valentine's Day treat for you."

Yes, she liked it, and it did. But having him here to meet her when she came home, that was the best Valentine's Day treat she could ever have wanted.

Lynn:  
Lynn had spent Valentine's Day resolutely avoiding any thoughts about Valentines or Valentine's Day or anything related. She had no plans for the evening, although she'd received invitations, both for intimate dinners for two and for more large-scale events, such as a dinner-dance at the Officers' Club with several groups going 'stag'. She had declined them, one and all. She was rather in agreement with her brother about that; Valentine's Day should be spent with someone at least a little bit special, and she had no one she placed in that category. 

Well, there was perhaps ONE person who just might be edging into that category. Early on, she had had hopes that Actor would invite her to spend the evening with him again. She hadn't really done him justice last Valentine's Day, being so exhausted from that job she'd just returned from. She flushed to remember she'd fallen asleep after that late dinner, still in an easy chair in the suite he'd taken, and he'd put her to bed with nothing more than a gentle kiss to her forehead. 

And the belated Valentine's Day gift he'd delivered, she still carried it, that elegantly-crafted palm knife - thought of him whenever she touched it, used it, chuckling to remember his explanation. "I thought you might prefer this to a diamond bracelet; Meghada's pet metalsmith made it. You should find it useful." 

And yes, she did, and yes, she had.

But then, she'd found him with that Brenner woman right before he left on the job with Craig, and he had the nerve to try and tell her it was 'nothing. Strictly a business meeting'. Even if the smug, superior look on Joanne Brenner's face hadn't proved THAT to be a lie, the condition of their clothing and the smell of sex in the room would have told her otherwise. It might have been 'business', she didn't know about that, but there had been no 'strictly' about it!

It wasn't that Lynn had any claim on him, she doubted any female would ever be able to claim that. But she HAD thought there was a mutual liking, a mutual respect - both of which should have precluded him treating her like she was a naive idiot, patting her on the head, telling her she hadn't seen what she'd clearly seen, and sending her on her way like a blundering child!

Of course, by the first of the month, even the possibility of a reconciliation prior to the 14th was impossible. Actor had left with Craig for a job, somewhere, doing something, none of which she was privy too, except for the fact that they were not expected back til closer to the end of the month.

So now, she headed back to her flat, glumly considering the possibilities. Perhaps a drink, since Meghada had shared that last shipment of bourbon with her; then a judicious raiding of the pantry, though there wasn't much tempting in there. Still, a drink, cheese and crackers, and a start on that new book Craig had recommended; that should pass the time well enough.

Picking up the mail from the cubbies below, she sorted through the stack quickly. Bills. A letter from her mother, one she had NO intention of reading until she had at least one drink to build up her courage. Envelopes of the sort greeting cards came in, five of those. A letter, addressed in a delicate hand, no indication who it might be from. She quickly changed, poured herself that drink she'd promised herself, and started opening her mail. 

Well, not the bills, they could wait til morning. The letter from Mrs. Garrison could wait for awhile too, as far as Lynn was concerned.

The letter, that turned out to be from Joanne Brenner, a suggestion that 'since there is no real reason for a quarrel between us, not since his choice has obviously been made, perhaps we could have tea one day. I know ever so many eligible men; I'm sure if we put our heads together, we could come up with SOMEONE for you."

Lynn's squeal of indignation could have been heard two doors down, though perhaps her cursing only next door. The ripping sound that paper made as it was torn into a hundred pieces barely ruffled the air.

Deciding she needed another drink, Lynn set the other five envelopes aside while she took care of that matter, along with getting a small plate of cheese and crackers to help balance the liquor. If she found herself talking to herself as she opened the envelopes and read the cards, well, it was hardly unexpected, considering.

"Lieutenant Riley. 'Undying devotion' my Aunt Fanny! What an absolute ass! He only got here two months ago, and is obviously making a try at every female he comes across! And from what Joyce is telling me, he chases with every indication of real interest until he succeeds in either getting what he wants or is forced away, and then he's on to the next one. Well, Lieutenant Riley, I don't THINK so!!"

"Corporal Manning. Do I even KNOW a Corporal Manning? Why am I getting a Valentine's Day card from someone I can't even place? That's rather embarrassing."

And so it went. 

"Mr. Avering. Nice enough, but there's no spark. I'll have to find a gentle way to drop him the hint."

"Lord Blithewell - ye gads! The man is in his eighties at least! I guess those rumors of him looking for a young wife are more true than you'd think. What would that be, his sixth?"

"Kevin Richards??? Oh, surely not! He has to know better!" He'd never given the slightest indication in her direction, and it would be highly awkward if he started doing so now!

"Ah, that makes more sense!" she'd exclaimed with more than a little relief as she read what he'd written on the inside of the simple, non-Valentine's Day card - a sincere apology for not intervening right away when she'd stumbled onto that "lurid scene between Actor and Mrs. Brenner. He actually WAS under orders, you see, although perhaps undertook to gain the required information in a manner somewhat different than what I'd intended."

She felt her heart soften, just a little, at that explanation. A brisk knock at the door startled her out of her thoughts, and the opening of the door to find a delivery man with a box distracted her entirely.

The card was in a familiar hand.

"My Dear Lynn, (if you have forgiven me enough to allow me to address you in such a manner)

I had hoped to be able to give this to you in person, perhaps over dinner on the 14th, but it would appear not to be possible. As Major Richards has been known to bemoan, 'this war, ever so inconvenient!'

In any case, I sincerely hope you will allow me the privilege of taking you to dinner at some later date, once I have returned. Hopefully you have forgiven me, at least a little. I prevailed on Major Richards to make you aware of the circumstances of that awkward episode. After what you walked in on, I was unsure you would accept the truth from me. And truly, although the good major is somewhat doubtful, there really WAS no alternative; she was being MOST uncooperative in revealing the sources of her information.

I have enclosed a little gift that I thought you might enjoy, or at least find useful. I had it made specifically to reflect how you appear to me, when I see you, when you enter my thoughts - elegant in mind and spirit, beautiful and deadly. Please accept it as a token of my respect and esteem, and my most sincere affection."

Lynn sat quietly, her hand gently smoothing the writing beneath her fingers, before unfolding the tissue paper hiding the contents of the box. 

No one outside the flat could have heard the chuckle of appreciative amusement she gave as she beheld Actor's Valentine's Day gift. 

"Last year an engraved palm knife, and now this!"

She lifted it out of the box to admire - a pocket pistol, chased silver, complete with thigh holster, similar to the one Meghada owned. Underneath was an initial supply of ammunition.

"Elegant in mind and spirit, beautiful and deadly. Yes, I can accept that as a worthwhile compliment from him. And 'a token of my respect and esteem, and my most sincere affection' - perhaps not what a woman expects to hear on Valentine's Day, but, in this case, it will do nicely - at least for now."

Somehow that gift, that note, gave her the courage to open the letter from home. And, once she'd read that scolding, complaining, demanding missive, a letter once again outlining both Lynn and Craig's failings, faults and all else that greatly disappointed their mother, that gift, that note (and those two shots of bourbon) also gave her the courage and resolve to treat that letter much as she had the one from Mrs. Brenner. The accummulated scraps of paper she swept all together into one heap, and dumped into the trash bin, along with the cards from everyone except Major Richards, all with more than a little satisfaction.

"Hurry home, Actor. I think I would like very much to go out to dinner with you," Lynn smiled to herself as she finished the last of her drink, along with the last cheese-topped cracker.

February 28th:

It was two travel-weary men who dragged their kits up the stairs of the Mansion. 

Goniff awoke out of a troubled sleep, hearing the sounds, recognizing the footsteps.

"Ei, they're back! Get moving now!" and he hurried to pull on his pants and rushed out the door before the others were wholly awake.

"Actor! Lieutenant! Ruddy 'ell, w'at took you so long! Been expecting you for a week or more," he scolded as he hurried to take Garrison's kit and toss it into the officer's bedroom, obviously not caring too much about where it landed.

"Looks like you two could use a stiff drink," Chief offered, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. "Casino's getting the stuff ready in the Common Room."

Garrison and Actor let themselves be gathered up and hustled away to sit at the big round table, letting a glass of something at least half-way drinkable be pushed into their eager hands. 

No one forced the men to talk, just welcomed them, let them know the three left behind were more than a little glad to have the two back home again. It didn't last long, both men obviously needing sleep badly, and Actor headed to the Dorm, Garrison heading to his bedroom.

He was ready to crawl between the sheets when he found the envelope on his pillow. {"Goniff knows better than to leave anything here,"} he'd wondered, worried frown on his face. The frown cleared away when he opened the card. No signature. A Valentine's Day card, but not like he'd seen in the shops. Hand-made, obviously. Just a large rounded-top 'm' in the center, but with the outer legs extended downward, joined into a centered point beneath, forming a make-shift heart. It was seemingly made of three ribbons, green, blue, and red, all intertwined. Oh, and the words written below, "for a lucky few, EACH day is Valentine's Day". 

That made him go to sleep with a smile, knowing quite well what was being said, along with the sure knowledge that there would be another card safely waiting for him down at the Cottage.

As for Actor, although he was initially suspicious of the second envelope awaiting him, especially after the gushing, encroaching, and grossly misspelled Valentine's Day card signed with the name of one of Julie Richards' most annoying and flirtatiously impossible socialite friends, he'd smiled with pleasure when he finally opened it.

*"Yes, Kevin explained. Yes, I'd love to have a late Valentine's Day dinner with you. Yes, I loved my gift, and truly loved how you described it (and me). And, by the way, I dumped red wine and cheese dip down the front of Mrs. Brenner's new dress at the Officer's Club, purely by accident. It got rather loud. Kevin Richards scolded. Just thought you should know. Lynn"*

Actor chuckled with amusement, visualizing that scene.

"So, who's it from, Actor? What does it say?" Goniff asked eagerly. They'd all laughed over the first one, but Actor was treating the second one as something different.

Casino snorted, "some fancy dame, of course. What other kind does he get cozy with?"

Actor had just smiled and nodded agreeably, "yes, a very 'fancy dame', Casino. One of the fanciest and one of the best, in fact."

The guys were surprised to hear Garrison's voice raised in laughter the next morning. They couldn't imagine what he was finding to laugh about in that meeting with the Sergeant Major. 

Sure couldn't be their scores on the firing range, or Ben Miller's reaction to some of their mischief. Even the report from that job they'd been sent out on with Ainsley's team, a job that had been messy as hell. Never mind the one early on, when Casino and Goniff had helped Micah Davis and his crew blow up a few bridges.

Oh, well, maybe he'd tell them later. Sure sound like it was funny as hell, whatever it was. 

{"Glad someone 'as something cheery to be telling 'im. Don't 'ave anything from us. Whole ruddy 'Practical Jokes' month gone to waste, not even a one played! Oh, well, maybe next month. 'Mischief Month', should be able to wrap ourselves around that one easily enough.}


End file.
